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The subtitle breathlessly indicts "Muslim society," but the real indictment contained in Durrani's account of her life seems to be more properly aimed at the dysfunctional family dynamics of the decadently rich. Most of her account could have happened to a person in any society, not just in Pakistan or in an Islamic society. She certainly does not bear a grudge against Islam in general, noting in several places how her own faith saw her through her personal struggles, not to mention her prayer that her children have values based on "true Islamic principles." (p 7) So while some details of her life story may be somewhat dependent on being in Pakistan, such as the husband getting the property and children in a divorce, most of the substance has happened to countless people in all manner of different societies.
Indeed, owing to Durrani's lousy upbringing by her spoiled society mother and absentee (in spirit, if not in body) father, she was "the perfect victim" (p 21) for an abuser like Mustafa Khar. While the book is well-written, and Durrani's account is interesting, it can also be exhausting. She is that friend who keeps coming to you, in all kinds of trouble because of her own self-destructive behavior, but she won't listen to your advice. In fact, she won't even listen to her own observations and conclusions--she just keeps going back to hurting herself over and over again. I get it, she is (by her own account) the abuse victim personality, so ready and willing to accept all the excuses and promises, no matter how bad the beating, how terrible the humiliation, how many other people are also hurt. Which, of course, is not to blame the victim--it takes an abuser for there to be abuse. It's just her refusal to leave and her repeated returns once she did leave that can weary a reader.
Nor does she confine her credulity to only Khar's abuse. Here is this feudal lord who lives in the best of style, who sells his feudal lands for money one minute, then abuses his political authority to seize them back again the next. In the next breath, he talks a great game about the plight of Pakistan's workers and poor. Never mind how he displaces entire wards of hospitals of the desperately poor just to suit his convenience. Durrani records her doe-eyed innocence at drinking it all in, excited by his revolutionary talk, no matter how out of step with Khar's actions such words were. Since Khar is a politician, some knowledge of Pakistani history and politics in the 1970s and 1980s are helpful to appreciating the account, though not necessary, strictly speaking.
At least by the end of her story, Durrani seems to have put all these pieces together--better late than never? Part of her concluding remarks bear quoting at length:
I assessed his political philandering: he had abandoned Bhutto, escaped into exile, reneged on his deal with the generals, flirted with Indian intelligence, plotted the defeat of his own country's armed forces--then later, compromised with them--sulked at Benazir's prominence, and committed a plethora of additional political backstabbing. He covered everything with empty rhetoric and charisma. What passed as intelligence and insight was nothing but guile and cunning...His ideals were merely bait for the gullible.
I began to realize that the Mustafa Khar I had championed existed only in my perception. I had made him into the man that fitted my own ideals. He never existed in any real form. p 372-373
All-in-all, a good read, but not a terrific one. Durrani's life story is interesting, though mainly heart-wrenching. She never repudiates Islam, and she is cautious about Pakistan--she certainly sees some things that need improvement, but her views reflect that of a nationalist, even after all she went through. Her criticism of Pakistani society come from a place of love and desire to see reform, not as one hoping to turn the tables over. Will it suit your tastes? I suppose that depends on your empathetic pain threshold...